Nothing Gold Can Stay

“Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.”

~Robert Frost

The preceding poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost has a theme that I got comfortable with this past weekend. I’ve spent my first January weekend of the past 5 years in the same place, a retreat house called Subiaco. Every year, I bring a life-lesson back with me to the real world. Two years ago, I posted a blog “Ladybugs” found here: http://kevinwojo.wordpress.com/2010/01/14/ladybugs/ Last year, I posted a blog “Moving On”, found here: http://kevinwojo.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/moving-on/ . Both included lessons that I learned and described a little bit about my experiences at the retreat.

This year, like the past years, I took some time away from a hectic schedule to figure out what is going on in my life that‘s worth exploring. What I found was something I believe to be very important not just in my life, but something I believe everyone should take to heart. The concept was simply “Nothing gold can stay.”

The first event that inspired me to think about this concept was during a meditation we were having. This year, unlike past years, I was off to the side as a chaperone making sure no one was being obnoxious and taking away from anyone else’s peaceful experience. As the students began to quiet down, I started keeping my ears open for anything that would take away from the silence of the atmosphere. I would cringe every time I heard someone changing their position because it would make a creaking sound on the floorboards they were laying on. My eyes would dart around the room, trying to find the source of an annoying ticking sound. I soon found myself on edge, waiting for someone else to make a small noise. In my head, I had an idea of what a perfect silence was. Anything that deviated from that image would cause me to stress out. I began to develop the notion that I could not imagine there ever being a perfect silence. If I were put in a setting where everything was supposed to be completely quiet, I would constantly be thinking, “OK, what’s the next noise going to be?” refusing to accept the fact that my environment could ever have a perfect silence. It was seemingly miniscule at the time, but it got my mind thinking about the concept that we can’t always have things be the way they once were.

The second and most obvious event that caused me to dwell on this concept was simply “remembering the good ol’ days.” Going through Youth Group, I made a close group of friends that I shared a lot of awesome memories with. After my four years were up, I said goodbye to my fellow Senior friends and thought I’d never get the chance to come back. Fortunately this year I got the chance to be a group leader and interact with the younger Youth Group participants who were now Seniors themselves. It was different for me to not have some of my closest friends there that were my age. I began to think about the experiences I had had with those people all four years and how none of them were there to reminisce with me this weekend. Another thought I had that had a big impact on me was the fact that the person who used to lead some of the more serious parts of the retreat for the past 35 years, Father Dan, was not here this year. He passed away this summer. It was heart-breaking for all those who loved Subiaco and the St. Benedict Monastery that he presided over. As this past weekend progressed, it was evident that this great man was missing. I got choked up a few times as I thought about the impact he had on all of the youth who came through those doors and how much things have changed since his passing.

Needless to say, I was missing my Senior friends and Father Dan this weekend. I was missing the way things used to be, while trying to make new memories along the way. I came to realize the idea that “Nothing gold can stay.” This is something that I realized I feared more than I thought I did. In my life, I’ve been blessed with many great opportunities and experiences. I spend a lot of time remembering my past and all of the things that went right and are going right for me. As much as these experiences have meant to me, I was faced with a tough reality check- things change. That being said, we must learn to adapt to change or we can never be truly happy.

“Her early leaf’s a flower, but only so an hour.” This line from the poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay” shows how the beauty of life, these great experiences and opportunities, can go by in a blink of an eye. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance between remembering the old times and appreciating the beauty of the present. If you spend all your time wishing things are the way they once were, you’ll be missing out on making the most of your present situation. This is hard for a lot of people- change is something that many of us are opposed to. Sometimes we get caught in our stubbornness and refuse to believe that anything can disturb our peace. Well if you haven’t had to experience this disturbance yet, you most likely will. A rug will be pulled out from under you and some major event will knock you off your feet. Push you out of your comfort zone. It is at that point that you make a decision. To forever dwell in the past, whether it be the good or the bad, or to stand up and move on.

As much as I was opposed to moving on, I stood up this weekend and realized things will never stay perfect for very long. I learned to take advantage of the times when life is good while keeping in mind the experiences that got me to that point in the first place. If you can’t learn to adapt to change and face reality, you’ll be in a much tougher spot. So take the time right now to appreciate the beautiful things in your life- they can be gone in the blink of an eye. After all, nothing gold can stay.

My Earliest Writings

Hey everybody.

I know it has been a long time since my last blog post. I’ve been incredibly busy with a few of my other writings, converting three stories into a novel form. I’m forty pages into my first one and it’s going along quite well. I thought I would share something fun in this post. I’ve been writing ever since I was a little kid. In Kindergarten, while everyone else would color or play with blocks, I was over at the computer typing up stories. I would like to share a few of them with you as they are fun to read and remind me ho important writing has been for me throughout my life. I have fixed the spelling mistakes so you can read them more easily, but I let the grammar mistakes be the way they are. So here are some of my earliest writings.

“One day dinosaurs were just hatched and a baby came out. Everybody ran away because the T-Rex always hungry but the baby that hatched don’t get to eat. The End.”

“One day a girl was playing with six boys and the bushes were moving. One of the boys went over there and it ate him. The End.”

“Hi I’m Emily and this is my dog. One day he went to the circus. The End.”

“One day a boy was so sad because he don’t know what to give his mommy a present for Mothers Day. Mom said, ‘I don’t need a present.’ ‘You mean, you don’t need a present? Why?’ ‘You’re my present’ The End.”

There you have it, Award-Winning novels from a 5 year old. Hope you enjoyed

 

Blank

Hey everybody. It’s been a while, but here is another piece of my writing for you all. It’ short, but pretty powerful. Hope you enjoy it.

 

Blank

Have you ever just looked at a blank piece of lined paper? Of course you’ve seen one before, but have you actually stared at it? Thought about it?

Do you realize the amount of potential pieces of writing that can be put together on these blank pieces of paper? It’s infinite. We have 26 letters in our alphabet. Using a combination of these letters, we can write an award-winning song. On this blank piece of loose-leaf paper, we can start to write a best-selling novel. We can express who we are on this blank piece of paper. We can write anything.

Look at the piece of paper. Just look at it. Imagine all the things you could write on it.

In the words of Mother Teresa, we are the pencils in the hands of a writing God-spreading love to all of the world.

Look at that blank piece of paper. It is your life. God gave you that blank piece of paper to write whatever you want for your life story. You have the free-will. You can use it to write the most beautiful song the world has ever heard. You can use it to write blackmail and strike fear into other individuals. The pencil is in your hands.

And it’s bigger than that! The blank piece of paper is the world. God is looking down at that big piece of paper, a combination of all of our individual papers. He is watching a story being written. He knows how it ends, but He watches as we figure it out for ourselves. Our story is not perfect. There are downfalls in the plot. Characters are flawed and make mistakes. Yet others are clued in on the theme. They’ve picked up on the fact that the underlining theme of this story is love. With His help and their help, the people who used to just scribble on their page are now writing beautiful works of art. Some have realized they can use their erasers to start blank again. A blank piece of paper with an infinite amount of possibilities for themselves.

Look at that blank piece of paper.

Look at all that potential.

You are the pencil in the hand of a writing God.

Spread love to all of the world.

Thank You, Paul

Whenever someone asks how I got to be the way I am today, I answer without hesitation “My church’s Youth Group.” Over the four years I spent at the Youth Group of St. John the Evangelist in Davison, I have experienced so much. I have become deeper in my faith in Christ, I’ve assisted the poor in the surrounding community, I’ve been to Washington DC and Kansas City, I’ve taken out someone’s tooth with my elbow in a wrestling match, and many more memorable experiences. Throughout all four years, I shared my time and experiences with our amazing Youth Minister, Paul Schlegelmilch. Recently, Paul has accepted a job at Holy Redeemer church and will no longer be running the youth program at St. John. I felt it was necessary to write a blog in honor of such a great person and to thank him for all he has provided the Youth Group with. (I sound as if he just passed away or something!)

When I attended Blessed Sacrament church for the first few years of my life, Paul was in charge of the church’s youth program. I remember being in second grade and he would lead us in “Our God is an Awesome God” and help out with the parish any way he could. Eventually, he transferred to St. John of Davison while I was in third grade still at Blessed Sacrament. Two years later, our family tried St. John out as we were seeking a new parish family. I went through the mandatory Catechism classes without much enthusiasm. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and didn’t pay much attention during the classes. Time went on and suddenly I was a Freshman about to enter the Youth Group program. At first, I was a little hesitant-I didn’t know what Youth Group was and I tried to persuade my mom to let me avoid it. She made me go anyway and the rest is history. It was nice to see Paul my Freshman year after not seeing him since I was in 3^rd grade. He hadn’t changed a bit; he was still a very caring person who wore a full suit and dress pants everywhere.

I’ll write the rest of this blog as a short bulleted list of memories of Paul and/or experiences through my Youth Group made possible by an awesome Youth Minister.

• In tenth grade, I began to question the existence of God. I realized how broken I was inside and how I was not the person I thought I was. By continuing to go to Youth Group and seeing God’s love in the teens and adults that went there, I slowly began to rebuild and reexamine my relationship with God.
• Every Wednesday before Youth Group started at 7:00 and couple of my friends and I would get there at 5:00 to just play Wii, watch TV, work on homework, act like hooligans, and just be teenagers. Paul would let us do almost anything (within reason) and always offered us drinks and snacks throughout our free time.
• On free nights, many of us teens wanted to play sports. Whether it be ultimate Frisbee or sand volleyball, Paul would play in his dress shirt, tie, and dress pants.
• Paul was always willing to help people financially. Whenever we would have a trip coming up that cost money, he would always say, “If for some reason you can’t come up with the money, just let me know and I’ll take care of it for you.” He would also ask us for suggestions of things to put in the Youth Room. He trusted our judgment and gave us money to go out and buy a Wii, a video camera, and anything else that we wanted for our Youth Group. If we were ever there early, he would offer to buy someone dinner. When we helped him for hours with manual labor, he’d be unnecessarily generous in his monetary appreciation. Whenever money was an issue for you, Paul was there to lend a helping hand.
• Last summer, I started a big community service project renovating a field near the church. Paul would come out in his dress shirt and dress pants, grab a shovel, and help us out. He helped pay for the supplies used to improve the field and was extremely thankful that my friends and I would start such a major project without being asked to.
• On some Wednesdays, I was asked to read scripture to the Youth Group during prayer time and offer my own homily/reflection. This inspired me to become a lector for my church and has helped me tremendously with my public speaking.
• Paul did more behind-the-scenes work than many people will ever know. He was the man when it came to setting up dinners to serve the community, preparing, maintaining, and doing post-work for our major camp Catholic Heart Work Camp in which we house over 250 students from across America, setting up lesson plans for the Middle School program, and so much more. Paul is one of the hardest working people I know.
• Every winter, I looked forward to going to our retreat house, Subiaco, in Oxford. It was a beautiful way to revitalize my faith and get connected on a deeper spiritual level to Paul and my fellow teens.

Honestly, I could keep going on about how great Paul is and how thankful I am for having such a great experience in my Youth Group. My morals, my public speaking skills, my kindness, and the overall person I aspire to be has all been developed by my former Youth Group, led by Paul Schlegelmilch. As Paul leaves for his next adventure, I know he will have a lot to offer for his new group of teens. I ask that you keep him in your prayers while he helps Holy Redeemer church as well as pray for the future of the Youth Group of St John in Davison. Thank you Paul for everything that you have done. You will be missed and we wish you the best of luck. Now go change some more teens’ lives!

Deliberate Divine Deeds

You notice a man sitting up against an old building. It’s winter, a cool wind whips at your rosy red cheeks. You had just walked out of a store, holding your plastic bag in one hand and the change from your $10 bill in the other. You notice the man sitting there in his winter hat, plaid jacket, and tore-up jeans. Hardly enough to keep him comfortable through the harsh winter night. He’s holding a small styro-foam cup with his cut-up hands. There’s nothing in it. You stop a few feet away from him and count the change in your hand- $5.22. You hesitate for a moment, but you walk up to him, place the $5 in the cup, and continue walking.

We’ve all heard of stories like this or have even done similar acts. Helping a co-worker pick up her pile of papers she just dropped, giving a friend a compliment for their hard work on the baseball field. We’ve even thought of a phrase to describe such actions- “Random acts of kindness”. In a world that’s infected with bad attitudes, poor moral decision making, and other debilitating acts, it’s nice when people stop to take the time and commit a random act of kindness. But is that enough?

I recently finished reading the book Hurt-Healer: Reaching out to a Broken World by Tony Nolan. It’s a great book and I’d highly recommend it. One of the chapters talked about these “Random acts of Kindness”. Mr. Nolan gives an example, similar to the one I provided, of a random act of kindness. It tells the story of a man who gives a homeless man a cheeseburger and continues on with his day. Nolan then asks us to consider what happens next in the homeless man’s life. The man gratefully eats the only food he’s had in 24 hours, falls asleep, and doesn’t wake up the next morning. Though the burger helped pro-long his life for a few more hours, he had finally died of starvation. What Nolan says next is shocking. He presents the idea that the homeless man was a former murderer who sought no forgiveness for any of the things he had done. The man who gave him a chesseburger thought he was committing a random act of kindness, yet he didn’t realize he had just sent the man to Hell on a full-stomach.

Now certainly it’s not the man’s fault that the homeless man went to Hell and of course it was a great thing for him to do to give him a cheeseburger. But what more could he have done? What would be so bad about offering to give the man a ride to the homeless shelter a couple blocks away? Better yet, offer to house him for the night and provide him a nice home-cooked meal. Seems extreme, doesn’t it? That’s because such actions aren’t being done often enough. People are afraid that the homeless man will steal from them, will harm them, will never want to leave. I won’t lie, I’d probably feel the same way if I was put into that situation at this point in my life. But there is an outcome that is more involved than a random act of kindness. Tony Nolan nicknames it “Deliberate divine deeds”.

Deliberate divine deeds are deeds that have a deeper meaning behind them. Here is a true story of such a deed. A youth group from a church filled up a van with a lawn-chair, a cooler filled with drinks, an umbrella, and a ton of money that they had recently fundraised. Their goal was to go onto the interstate and pull over for the first person who they noticed had blown a tire and needed assistance. It didn’t take long before they saw a man on the side of the road with a blown tire and fumes coming out of the hood of the car. The crew started talking to the old man and found out he had been stranded there for an hour waiting for someone to help. One of the youth grabbed the chair for the man to sit on and another grabbed the umbrella to provide some shade from the blistering hot sun. They offered him a cold drink from the cooler and asked if he wanted anything from the local fast-food restaurant. The old man was shy, but gave-in and requested a little bit of food. As the car pulled away to get food, some of the group stayed behind to keep the man company. Meanwhile, a repair vehicle had been called and was on its way. It soon pulled up and began working on all of the repairs that needed to be done to the worn-down car. The teens used the fundraised money to cover all of the costs. Soon after, the youth group van returned and provided the old man with a free lunch. When lunch was over, the old man was ready to drive away. The youth group politely handed the man a business card of their church and proceeded to tell him that Jesus loved the man and had helped him out today. If he wanted to ever come visit their church, he was more than welcome to. The crew drove off to their next person and the old man drove away feeling full-both in his stomach and in his heart.

What these teens did was a deliberate divine deed. They didn’t simply give the old man money or food- they took the time and effort to make sure his physical needs, his car’s needs, and his spiritual needs were taken care of. Providing just money or just food would have been a random act of kindness. It would have been helpful and had good intentions behind it, but it would not have been enough. We are called to go above and beyond. If society would continue random acts of kindness and even have more and more people involved, that would be great. But ultimately, more frequent deliberate divine deeds is what we should all be striving for. These deeds may seem complicated and unnecessary; but if you start out by caring about others and helping when you can, you will soon realize how good it feels to help others. You will want to keep going. Pretty soon, you’ll be ready for a challenge. It is at that point that you will graduate from random acts of kindness to random acts of kindness and deliberate divine deeds. You will not only change the lives of others, you will find that it will change your life as well.

Young at Heart

This past week, I attended Catholic Heart Work Camp for my third year. This year, like the past two years, I had a great time serving the less fortunate in my community and getting closer to God in the process. You may have already read previous blogs that described my past experiences with the camp, such as “The Last Time I Cried” and “From Turtle to Rabbit”. I always find something or someone that inspires me throughout the week and have something blog-worthy to write once I arrive home. This year was a little harder to come up with a theme for a blog, but I believe I have a good idea.

I had the pleasure of meeting a lot of new people over the week. The camp consisted of 250 people, 20 of which were from Davison. The rest were complete strangers. The people in my small group that worked on the same project were all from different states. But no one from all the new people I met really stood out as much as 4-year old, Nicaea.

The family whose house we renovated consisted of two grandparents and their six grandchildren. Throughout most of the week, the children stayed inside and waved, but never came outside to visit us. Finally, on the last day, two of the little girls came outside to bond with us. They started out by timidly accepting the snacks we were offering them as we took our lunch break. We asked them some questions about Spongebob and Nemo and they slowly became more comfortable. At the end of the meal, Nicaea attempted to read our closing prayer from our prayer sheet with help from our Prayer leader. It was slow going, but she did great and we all applauded her at the end. Soon after, we were back to work and Nicaea and her sister helped us plant flowers.

After I dug a small hole, Nicaea would set the plant down inside it and help pack dirt around it. This went on for a while and soon all of the plants were in the ground. Now Nicaea, being a 4 year-old, had a pretty short attention span and a pretty large imagination. So when she got bored, she would dig in the dirt looking for rocks. Whenever she found a large rock, she would get excited and show me. She would say “Let’s plant this one”. So I would dig a hole off to the side, she would set the rock in the hole, and we would pack the dirt on top of it. After about four rocks were planted, I began to ask, “What color will the flower be when the rock starts to grow?” After a few seconds to think about it, she replied “Purple”. This went on for several more rocks and apparently, there will be a yellow, a pink, and a blue flower where those other rocks were planted. I thought her answers were adorable and my team laughed as the funny conversations continued.

I am not around little kids often, but every time I am, they never cease to amaze me. Other than the crying, screaming, constant need for undivided attention, and being hyper, they’re pretty cool. And as I talked to Nicaea, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a short video we had watched earlier that week. At work camp, you go back to the church after your day of work and they have a program which consists of playing videos, a live band performs, and there’s some time for praise and worship. One of the videos at the beginning of the week talked about being a little kid. I wish I could find it to remember exactly how it went, but I will do my best to describe what it talked about.

The video described how we lose hope along the way of life. When we are young, we have a great imagination. Reality is meaningless to a child. Kids want to be a professional athlete, a doctor, an actress. They usually have a generally high self-esteem and a positive outlook on life. Then, life happens. As a kid grows up, they realize they are not good enough to play sports at a professional level. They find out they can’t afford to go to a good medical college. They convince themselves they’re not pretty enough or talented enough to be a movie star. Their self-esteem drops when they realize they don’t fit-in anymore. They lose hope.

In some ways, these roadblocks are inevitable. The odds of becoming a professional athlete are not favorable. No matter how much hope you have, you will not make the team if you can’t play better than the people you’re up against. When you’re a kid, not many people tell you you can’t do something that you want to. No one ever tells a kid “No, you don’t want to become an astronaut, there’s no way you’d get selected. Stick to plumbing.” I didn’t dare explain to Nicaea that a rock dug into the ground would not eventually grow into a purple flower. We say these things because we don’t want kids to ever lose hope or to face reality yet. We let them enjoy their innocent lives where there are no troubles while they still can.

Eventually, they figure things out for themselves or others figure them out for them. They soon realize things are not how they once appeared and everything is more complex than they imagined. Major events take place and a person either grows from it or lets it devour their life. Wisdom is gained or hope is lost. “Apparent freedom” is replaced with “structure”. Imagination slowly drains away to reality. They grow up and have no choice but to suck it up and deal with it.

This is not to say that growing up is all bad. There are more freedoms, more opportunities, etc. But when we are forced to mature and take on more responsibilities, we tend to lose the imagination and the overall sense of joy that little kids tend to possess. Now, there are people I know who are grown-ups that are still very imaginative and joyous. They chose to not let life get to them. They did not lose hope as they grew up and kept a good attitude. That’s not to say they probably faced bad times or experienced harsh reality-checks. But they grew from their experiences, they moved on, and they gained wisdom. They still have the little-kid feeling in them and they enjoy their lives.

I hope this story is a reminder to you that it’s important to stay young at heart. When life happens, don’t lose hope. Stay a little kid at heart, and you’ll find life is much more enjoyable to live. George Bernard Shaw says it best with this quote: “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Thank you, Nicaea, for reminding me how important it is to stay young at heart.

Mission Statements

“Our goal, with the help of the Lord, is to create an environment where we can all grow both personally and professionally. We strive to be environmentally conscious in producing beautiful and healthy plants for our guests and share with them as much knowledge as possible, so that they can enjoy the success of creating and maintaining their own beautiful gardens.”

The preceding quote is the Mission Statement of Wojo’s Greenhouse. It is recited at the start of every weekly meeting by all of its employees. (Including me)

Mission statements are a crucial element to all companies, organizations, and other established groups. A mission statement spells out what a group of individuals are setting out to do and describes how they will go about carrying it out. It serves as the foundation of the group. Without a mission statement, the group of people will be carrying out tasks and providing goods and services with no real reasoning behind their actions.

Almost every company or organization has a mission statement. But can the same be said about individuals themselves? Do you have a mission statement? Do you have something you can refer to that spells out how you want to live your life?

Certainly I cannot tell you your mission in life. I have no idea what your mission or purpose on Earth is and how you will go about carrying that purpose out. Some people spend their whole life trying to figure out a purpose to their lives. And over time, you may change your mission statement due to your different experiences and different perspectives that you gain insight from.

I can’t talk about ‘purpose in life’ or mission statements without spending a little time mentioning the more complex aspect of God’s plan for us. If you are a firm believer in Christ, as I am, you may find comfort in the following verse:

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:1).

I will let you take that quote however you’d like to. I like this quote because it re-affirms the idea that my purpose in life is to do God’s will. How I go about doing that is another thing to think about.

And so I end this short post by proposing my own personal mission statement. I hope you are able to step back and try to consider what your purpose in life could be. I have by no means figured out all of the mysteries and predicted my whole future. But with a mission statement, I can better picture what I should be doing with my life with the gifts I’ve been given and attempt to describe how I will go about living a fulfilling life. It may seem simple and generalized, but this is my Mission Statement.

“My goal, with the help of the Lord, is to be the best person I can be. With a rigorous work-ethic, positive attitude, and perpetual determination, I will battle through life’s challenges and overcome unforeseen obstacles. In doing so, I will serve as a beacon of light and be an ideal role model to those around me. I will use my God-given abilities along the way in hopes that it will lead me down the path to a successful life.”

What’s yours?

Dear Teenage Boys, …

Dear Teenage Boys,

What’s up? My name is Kevin Wojo. You may have read my previous blog entitled “Dear Teenage Girls”. In that post, I addressed the issue of how it is hard being a good person these days when guys and girls around us are, lets just say, ‘not making good choices’. Of all the routes I could have taken with this concept, I decided to go down the road of sexuality. It may have seemed as if my “Dear Teenage Girls” post was targeting girls as if it was all their fault and letting us guys off the hook. Not so fast.

In this post, just like last post, I want to suggest something that I hope all guys will consider- if it is not already part of their lifestyle. A lot of guys are already being great boyfriends to their girlfriends and are just overall good guys whether they are taken or not. However, there are not enough of said guys and there’s always the possibility that someone can stray away from their wholesome values. Therefore, I offer you guys this suggestion (and eventually analogy) that I can only hope you will consider if you’re not already.

Suggestion: If you’re already a good guy, let your true self be known!

 

I was talking to a girl before I wrote this to try to get some perspective from the opposite gender. One point this person made is very true for most circumstances. Girls tend to date guys who are a bad influence. They’ll say “Well, all the good guys are already taken”. That’s not always true; there are a lot of good guys out there. However, the only guys that a girl usually notices are those who give them attention-primarily ‘the bad guys’. These ‘bad guys’ will make the girl feel appreciated and make them feel wanted, but unfortunately these guys usually have a secret motive. And this motive, quite simply, is they expect something in return. Too many guys are thinking they can get away with this ‘method’ and that it will work out for them. It usually does. Sure it causes some heart-break on the girl’s end, but the image that a lot of people have of teenage boys almost makes it socially acceptable. It by no means is acceptable, but since “everyone else is doing it”, the boys have the mentality of “Why not?”

So if you’re a good guy, don’t be shy! Prove to a girl that a good guy can still give a girl positive attention and make her feel good without having a bad motive behind your actions.  Break down the idea that a guy has to be a bad boy in order to get the girl of their dreams. Now from a realistic standpoint, girls (no matter how good of a girl) still like to see a bad-boy edge in guys. They need to know that a guy will protect them if a problem ever occurred and it brings a little excitement into the relationship. And guys (no matter how good of a guy) still have that urge to once in a while show off their bad-boy edge. It would be naïve to say that a boy can never show that side of himself. However, I also believe that it is crucial that a guy be a good-guy who once in a while shows his bad-boy edge rather than be a bad-guy who shows a good-guy edge simply to manipulate a girl. The world is in need of more gentlemen and it’s time that we embrace that challenge and show them what a good-guy is made of.

Granted, it is tough balancing the moral values of “being a good guy” with the hormonal feelings of “being a teenager”. Trust me I understand that. There are some times where I don’t properly balance the two and I’m sure I’m not the only one. But what it comes down to is that I don’t let the majority of society decide how I have to act. With all the commercials and TV shows and songs that feature a guy taking advantage of a girl, it’s sometimes hard to not be influenced to act like that.

Imagine, if you will, a large grassy field. This large field is split in half by a long line dug into the ground. On one half are the good guys and good girls. The other- bad guys and bad girls. Now since it’s a grassy field, people can cross-over to the other side of the field whenever they want. I spend my time on the good-guy side trying to find some people I can get along with. Then I look over at the other half and everything appears to be a lot more fun. I start to question why I’m still on this side when “everybody else is doing it” on the other side. I’m tempted once in a while to cross that line and, a few times, I take a few steps into “the other side”. It’s fun for a while, but I know that this side of the field has poison ivy and snakes and skunks. I go back to the good-guy side where I spend most of my days.

As I think of ways to pass time in the field, I can’t help but notice what everyone else is doing on my side. There are couples on my side who seem to be having a great time. They’ve always had fun on this side and have managed to have a healthy relationship without ever going over to the dark side. That’s refreshing to see. A common occurrence is unfolding right now; a guy has crossed over from the bad side to the good side and has found a good girl, his victim. I watch them sit and talk. He fills her mind with lies and gives her the attention she has so desperately been seeking. He reaches into his pocket and gives her a blindfold. Though curious, the girl puts her thoughts to the side and puts her trust in the guy. The guy puts the blindfold around her, holds her hand, and walks her over back into his side. Such a shame. It’s a common occurrence and it’s sad to see. A little farther down the field, I see a girl running from the bad side back to the good side. She’s crying. She no doubt had a scarring experience on the other side. She reaches the side she originally came from and finds a group of friends who hug her and accept her back.

Some learn their lesson, some don’t. Some spend their whole lives on one side, never thinking about crossing over. Some are curious and see if “the grass is greener on the other side”, but only temporarily. And some are literally standing over the line, waiting for someone to pull them to a certain side. Guys and girls, take that chance to grab their hand and pull them back to the good side. I’m not just talking about guys saving girls, guys can save guys and girls and girls can save girls and guys too. If you see someone struggling, help them out and encourage them to spend some time on the good side. We need all the help we can get. Because one of these days, a storm is coming. A storm so powerful, so captivating, that it will strike awe in some and horror in others. Oh, did I mention that the field on the bad guy/bad girl is near the edge of the cliff? Right, well as this storm pours down, it will wear away at the line in the ground. The bad side will crumble into the ocean along with everyone in it. Once it does, the storm will vanish. In it’s place, a rainbow of triumph will shine down on what remains. Everyone that you helped stay on the good side will have survived. You will be proud of the decisions you have made and will see how standing up to temptation was worth it.

Dear Teenage Guys and Teenage Girls,

You can now see that this blog no longer just applies to guys treating girls right; this sums up both blog posts about being a good teenager regardless of gender. Both genders experience downfalls, sometimes in different ways. Girls and guys are wired differently. Yet we are all given the free-will to choose which side of the field we dwell on. Analogy aside, we see a couple of ways to remain on the good side. Ladies, respect your body and your mind. Guys, respect a lady’s body and mind without expecting favors in return. If you’re a good guy, let yourself be known and treat a girl right. If you’re a good girl, don’t put on the metaphorical  blindfold.

I’ll be chillin’ in the shade of the big oak tree on the good side if you ever need me.

Sincerely,

Kevin Wojciechowski

Dear Teenage Girls, …

Dear Teenage Girls,

Hello. My name is Kevin, and I am a teenage boy. Now, being a teenage boy means my hormones are raging. Yet I am proud to say that at the same time, I consider myself a gentlemen and have the integrity to keep myself in check to an extent. The problem is, I am a minority. The majority of guys out there is shifting from true, honest, overall good guys, to lying, cheating, jerks. It’s not entirely your fault, the blame has to be put on the guys as well. But there’s something you ladies can do to help this epidemic. It all starts with you.

Before I go any further, I want to start off by saying that nobody is perfect. Every single person in the world has made at least one mistake. Whether that means you have cheated in a game of Go Fish or you have gotten wasted on the weekend with some friends. The extremity doesn’t matter. The reasoning behind these decisions may vary-for instance, from being pressured to simply experimenting and everything in between. None of that matters. How you move on and learn from your mistakes is the one thing that does matter. Most people think that once they make one bad decision, an infinite amount of poor decisions are inevitable and it becomes one’s lifestyle. This certainly is not the case. Whatever you have done in your life, you will be forgiven for, if you want to be, by God. With that being said, it is time for a fresh start. This is your chance to learn from those past mistakes and move on in the right direction. I have two ways to get you started.

First: Dress how you want to be treated. In today’s society, dressing modestly is no longer the norm. Today, you’re being brainwashed that you better have a nice chest, flat abs, a good butt, and the right clothing to show all of it off. Sure it makes the boys go gaga over you, and that’s usually why girls do it; for the attention. Yet how do you think those boys that are staring at you when you’re not looking at them will treat you if you gave them the chance to be close to you. By dressing in a trashy way, you’re telling them they can treat you like trash. What you wear determines how a guy will treat you. This does not mean that you have to wear a turtleneck and knee-high socks to Prom. I’m not trying to encourage you to go with the Amish look. A lot of girls have nice figures and it means alot to a girl to know that they look pretty, especially in a nice outfit. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when you go from “Hey, look at me, I’m dressed prettily,” to “Hey, look at this chest. I want you to see me for my body parts and not my true beauty.”

Second: Respect your body. This goes hand in hand with the previous topic. How you display and use your body determines how you will be treated. Again, most girls are willing to give up the pureness of their bodies if it means they will get attention for it. Maybe they will take dirty pictures and send them to their friends or maybe they will let a guy touch them in places they wouldn’t touch if their Grandma was in the room watching. They do this because they know that guys will lust over them and make them feel wanted. And it’s true, most guys will will. They will be happy to take advantage of you, then move on to the next piece of flesh that comes their way. Do you really want to go through with that? If you respect your body, so will guys. By respect I don’t mean a guy will want to get in bed with you and “respect your body”. When a guy respects a girls body, he knows it’s worth waiting to see. If a guy doesn’t care enough about who you are and is instead concerned about physical features, he doesn’t see a future with you and just wants to misuse your body to satisfy his urges.

You may be saying “Alright Kevin, if I dress modestly and respect my body, no guy will pay attention to me. They’ll all take their shot at the hot blonde with a few buttons loose and just ignore me. How can I compete with that?”

My answer: “If you’re really asking yourself that, ask yourself something else, ‘What kind of guy are you trying to attract?’ The guys who go for the blonde are not looking to have a valued, wholesome, true relationship. They just want to take advantage of her and see how far they can get with her before he breaks the whole thing off and finds someone else to lust after. If you want this to happen to you, then go for it. But don’t complain when you realize guys treat you like crap and you see all the lies they deceived you with to ruin your life and build theirs up.

You ladies are in charge of how a guy treats you. Hold yourself to a higher standard and so will we. Not all guys are selfish pigs, but too many are. If you want to attract the right guy, I say start off by dressing how you want to be treated and respect your body. If you can do this, I can almost guarantee you will find a quality guy who will love you for who you are and will give you all the attention you could want.

This is your chance to start changing the world, one teenage girl at a time. Society’s moral values are on the decline, but they can get back on the rise again. It all starts with you.”

“A Proverb Taken Literally”

This is a short story I wrote in Creative Writing. Enjoy.

I knew something was wrong when I heard glass shattering across the hall. It wasn’t the shattering caused by the careless children or their clumsy father; they were asleep. It wasn’t the shattering caused by the cat batting away at a collection of glass-ware; he was off doing whatever adventure a cat can find to do on a Friday evening. No, this was the shattering of a man swinging a baseball bat at the window by our front door. I hurriedly got up from the computer desk and sprinted to the base of the staircase.

“JASON! HE’S BACK!” I desperately yell. I look back to the front door; shards of glass cover the welcome rug. The rain, pouring down hard, made it difficult to see the figure just outside our door. Yet there was no mistaking who this madman was. He had attempted similar acts before and had failed to cause any physical harm to our family. But this time, there was something different. Something about the way the thunder boomed just before every swing he took showed just how different tonight was. I remained at the staircase and waited, frozen in fear, for my husband to come down. “JASON!” I yell again. This time I hear a stir upstairs. He’s coming.

When he finally gets to me he asks “What’s wrong?” I reply, “He’s back”. His head snaps to the door as the window is almost completely broken. I look into my husbands eyes, looking for some sort of plan for dealing with the crazy murderer no more than 20 feet away from us. He finally looks back and grabs hold of my arm.

“Listen Amy, you need to go into the kitchen and call 9-1-1. I’ll try to get him out of here, but if I can’t, you need to get the kids and get the hell out of here. Do you understand?” Glass shatters. “Amy?!” I glance back up to him and hurriedly shake my head. “I love you,” he says and kisses me on the forehead. “Now go!”

I run over to the kitchen as Jason runs to the door. When I grab the phone, it slips out of my clammy, shaking hands. I pick it up and dial the three digits as fast as I can. “…………BEEEEP………….BEEP……..” I look back out into the entrance way to see what was happening. The window was now completely broken. The door, to my surprise and horror, was wide open. “…….BEEP……911 what is your emergency?”

I snap myself back and reply “Hello-this is Amy Martin, I’m at 6443 E. Maple Road-someone is trying to break into our house!”

“Ok ma’am I just need you to stay calm for a moment. Could you repeat the address?”

I hear yelling outside just over the sound of pouring rain. It was my husband. I couldn’t make out the words, but I could tell he was in trouble.

“Ma’am?”

“…uh…I…what?”

            “Your address ma’am?”

            “Oh…uh…6443 E.-“

            I will never forget what I heard next; the sound of a bat cracking a human skull. I dropped the phone in horror and looked out the door. The man was staring at me, standing over my husbands limp body. The adrenaline pumped in and I started running for the staircase. “SARAAAAH! JIMMYYYYYYY!” My kids were still asleep and had no idea a mass murderer was about to enter the house. When I was halfway up the staircase, I tripped on a stray toy and lay on the staircase close to blacking out. The man walked through the doorway, drenched with rainwater and blood, and pulled out a knife.    

            “You stay the hell away from me!” I shrieked. The man just stood there and started to smile. His yellow teeth gleamed in the low light of the entrance way. The only things I could hear was the dripping of water from his body and the beating of my heart. I stood up, and that’s when he charged after me. Before I could even move, he was three stairs away from me. He lunged for my legs and I leaped over him as he swiped at me. I whipped around and saw him coming back for me. I ran towards the kitchen, hoping to find some sort of weapon to defend myself. My eyes frantically scan the counters. When I see the desired weapon, I reach for it. Just then, the man is back. He stands in the doorway of the kitchen and laughs. I cry, “Please, just get away from us! Every day you come and try to ruin our lives. Just leave us alone!”

            “You can never stop me,” he replies. “I’ll keep coming back until you’re all dead.  And if I have things my way, that won’t be long from now.” He waves the knife in front of his face and starts walking towards me. “Please, Dr. Sheppard, stay back!” I yell. It’s no use. I have only one choice. I reach for the weapon on the counter and hurl it at the man’s head. He instantly grabs his cranium and yells in agony. That’s when I made a run for it. I sprinted up the stairs to my children’s rooms. They were anxiously sitting on their beds, crying from listening to the commotion from downstairs. I hold them both in my arms and rock them back and forth. “It’s ok” I manage to let out.

            To my horror, Dr. Sheppard appeared at the doorway. I held my kids tight and looked up at the deranged man. He spoke quietly, muttering, “I will be back tomorrow to finish this.” He slammed the door and made his way back down the stairs. All three of us began sobbing as we realized we had just escaped the clutches of death and would live to see another day.

            There was one flaw in his plan, however. The fact that he would be back tomorrow was true. Of that I have no doubt. He had been stalking my family for the past few days and I knew he wouldn’t stop until we were dead. However, he would not finish this tomorrow, nor any other day. The police have never offered their protection, but I don’t need their help. As long as I am near fruit, I will be ok. Dr. Sheppard may find me somewhere tomorrow, but he will not take my life. Not as long as I have an apple with me; for it is a well-known fact that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.